Having spent 2 years in the army, I have not only got myself operationally and physically ready but also gained work experiences, especially in terms of work politics. I still remember vividly an interpersonal conflict that involved 3 parties, including myself. Before the usual outfield training exercise, our fellow commander (a regular) was tasked the job of distributing 8 CVC helmets (used for training) to 4 section commanders. Being the platoon sergeant, I was asked to help him oversee the accountability of those items as he had to settle other important matters. After the training, I realised that there were only 7 CVC helmets. The section commander who was responsible claimed that he had the 2 CVC helmets accounted for at outfield before returning to camp. He also said that he had informed our regular commander who claimed that he did not remember anything about being informed.
The regular started to blame the section commander for being irresponsible and demanded him to pay for the loss. Being sandwiched in the middle, I was at a loss as I did not know whom to believe. However, after having a heart to heart talk to understand the situation from the section commander, I realized that his work ability could be trusted. In the end, I requested to share the cost for the loss since I was also in charge of the outfield items. I did not want the blaming to continue but wanted to resolve the situation quickly instead. There was clearly no trust amongst us.
After this incident, I thought to myself, what was the cause of this conflict? Is it because of a miscommunication between the regular and section commander? Or was it just because of work ability? If you were in my shoes, what would you have done to improve the situation?
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Why is effective communication so important to me?
I would like to start off my very first post by sharing my unique job experience before i came into NUS as a freshman. Due to difficulty finding a decent well paying temporary job amid the economic crisis a few months ago, I ended up as a surveyor for the ministry of manpower. Little did I know I would soon be interacting and meeting people from different walks of life especially the minorities, that is the less fortunate ones. My job as a whole is to collect important employment information from each household. What is so interesting about this job is I get to communicate with different kinds of people such as the kind ones, impatient ones, talkative ones and even the nasty ones. Hence, I would always need to change the way on how I persuade and convince them into providing this information to me just like handling different types of customers. Therefore, effective communication in terms of how you present yourself, the tone and body language significantly contributes to the successful completion of the survey.
I would usually use simple English or mandarin verbally to get the message across to respondents whether through the phone or house visits. However, I came across two special cases where no verbal communication is used. Yes, both cases were couples who were either mute or deaf. The second case was harder to complete as the couple was mute, deaf and illiterate. You may wonder how I can manage to complete both cases. For the first case, since the couple was deaf, I was able to communicate effectively with them by writing every messages on paper. Though it was time consuming, I was glad that they made an effort to spend the time to complete the survey. For the latter, I tried really hard to get my message across but failed to get what they were saying since they cannot read or write. Fortunately, I managed to use hand gestures- another form of non-verbal communication and got a handphone number from them. I was informed by their hand gestures that this number belongs to one of their neighbours who could provide the necessary household information. I heaved a sigh of relief when I could at least get a link to the information needed. But a question came across my mind, “How would I communicate with a person if he is blind ,mute, deaf and illiterate?”
My experience as mentioned from the previous paragraph highlights two important issues. Firstly, you can see how important effective communication to me is, simply to get my job done. Secondly, effective communication is not just about simply getting the message across using oral language but it does relate to understanding each other’s mind under special circumstances when other mediums of communication have to be used. Hence being able to express yourself effectively is more than the ability to speak distinctly but also using appropriate body languages, postures, hand gestures and etc. The main reason why I think being able to communicate effectively is important to me is because I want people to understand me as much as how I comprehend them through various forms of communication. This aids the smooth completion of a job and even to avoid miscommunication which would give rise to conflicts.
Having good interpersonal skills are especially useful to me when I am in school. From getting to know new friends where first impression counts to getting a project done with my group of classmates, effective communication is very important here. I would like to have good friends to accompany me through the entire varsity life as we share weal and woe. I would also like to be able to task and relate well to my project team mates especially if I have the opportunity to become the leader. This ensures a smooth completion of the project work. If misunderstandings occur from communication breakdown, ironically, effective communication is needed to solve the problem such as giving in to each other.
Family ties are known to be the most important fabric in our society. Hence, to be able to communicate effectively with my parents is important. I was rather saddened whenever I read news that bloodshed occurs in families when conflicts arise from misunderstandings. I believe the large part of the reason why this fateful ending happened is because there is no proper channel of communication and mutual understanding between two parties. I myself treasure my family and I need to show them the love and care appropriately through good communication skills.
From young, I aspire to become a teacher and I am going to be one in the future. Hence, communicating with my students is very important here as they need to understand my lessons well. Other than that, as a counsellor as well, I need to listen and understand my students’ problems and give appropriate advice. As I am in a workplace, I need to relate well with my colleagues when politics are bound to happen.
Last but not the least, good communication is required in successful marriages. Divorce rates in the modern city of Singapore are sky rocketing as reported from ‘The Straits Times’. A fast paced and hectic lifestyle of today’s young married couples leaves little time for interaction or love making. This often results in poor relationships and misunderstandings, therefore even causes violence between spouse when they are not resolved. I do not want to end up like one of them. I need to learn how to maintain a good and stable marriage with my spouse by improving my communication skills. A relationship takes two hands to clap. Mutual contribution through actions and good communication is hence essential here.
I would usually use simple English or mandarin verbally to get the message across to respondents whether through the phone or house visits. However, I came across two special cases where no verbal communication is used. Yes, both cases were couples who were either mute or deaf. The second case was harder to complete as the couple was mute, deaf and illiterate. You may wonder how I can manage to complete both cases. For the first case, since the couple was deaf, I was able to communicate effectively with them by writing every messages on paper. Though it was time consuming, I was glad that they made an effort to spend the time to complete the survey. For the latter, I tried really hard to get my message across but failed to get what they were saying since they cannot read or write. Fortunately, I managed to use hand gestures- another form of non-verbal communication and got a handphone number from them. I was informed by their hand gestures that this number belongs to one of their neighbours who could provide the necessary household information. I heaved a sigh of relief when I could at least get a link to the information needed. But a question came across my mind, “How would I communicate with a person if he is blind ,mute, deaf and illiterate?”
My experience as mentioned from the previous paragraph highlights two important issues. Firstly, you can see how important effective communication to me is, simply to get my job done. Secondly, effective communication is not just about simply getting the message across using oral language but it does relate to understanding each other’s mind under special circumstances when other mediums of communication have to be used. Hence being able to express yourself effectively is more than the ability to speak distinctly but also using appropriate body languages, postures, hand gestures and etc. The main reason why I think being able to communicate effectively is important to me is because I want people to understand me as much as how I comprehend them through various forms of communication. This aids the smooth completion of a job and even to avoid miscommunication which would give rise to conflicts.
Having good interpersonal skills are especially useful to me when I am in school. From getting to know new friends where first impression counts to getting a project done with my group of classmates, effective communication is very important here. I would like to have good friends to accompany me through the entire varsity life as we share weal and woe. I would also like to be able to task and relate well to my project team mates especially if I have the opportunity to become the leader. This ensures a smooth completion of the project work. If misunderstandings occur from communication breakdown, ironically, effective communication is needed to solve the problem such as giving in to each other.
Family ties are known to be the most important fabric in our society. Hence, to be able to communicate effectively with my parents is important. I was rather saddened whenever I read news that bloodshed occurs in families when conflicts arise from misunderstandings. I believe the large part of the reason why this fateful ending happened is because there is no proper channel of communication and mutual understanding between two parties. I myself treasure my family and I need to show them the love and care appropriately through good communication skills.
From young, I aspire to become a teacher and I am going to be one in the future. Hence, communicating with my students is very important here as they need to understand my lessons well. Other than that, as a counsellor as well, I need to listen and understand my students’ problems and give appropriate advice. As I am in a workplace, I need to relate well with my colleagues when politics are bound to happen.
Last but not the least, good communication is required in successful marriages. Divorce rates in the modern city of Singapore are sky rocketing as reported from ‘The Straits Times’. A fast paced and hectic lifestyle of today’s young married couples leaves little time for interaction or love making. This often results in poor relationships and misunderstandings, therefore even causes violence between spouse when they are not resolved. I do not want to end up like one of them. I need to learn how to maintain a good and stable marriage with my spouse by improving my communication skills. A relationship takes two hands to clap. Mutual contribution through actions and good communication is hence essential here.
To end my first post, i shall present an interesting chinese character ( translated in english is called 'listen' as shown above) that depicts the art of listening. The chinese character of listen shows that we do not listen just only by our ears. One listens with one's eyes, ears and whole heart as if listening to a king. I always believe that effective communication is not merely speaking distinctly but it also involves listening from the heart, therefore displaying sincerity in conversations.
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